It’s hard to believe that it’s been one year since my beautiful friend Nicola lost her battle. Many of you know her as Nicola Jones of CHCH. If you followed her journey you know that she did NOT go down without a fight. I struggle admitting that I am still grieving because I know that she would tell me “Trina, you must heal and let go”. How is that possible when she touched my life in ways I cannot describe? Get out the kleenex. I hope you will read to the end. I apologize early for any typos, I’m writing through blurred eyes of tears.
I had the privilege of being asked to stand up at Nicola’s very intimate funeral to share my fondest memories of her. I remember standing at that podium looking up at her beautiful photo and thinking, “how can this be?” How could this beautiful woman have lost her life? She fought so hard and did everything right. Life is cruel! Get it together Trina!”
I don’t know how to explain it but I knew that Nicola was leaving for bigger things. We spoke of this many times as hard as it was. She spent her life as a healer and now bigger forces were calling her.
“Thank you for your beautiful prayers and energy this evening. I felt cradled in your love and light. What a wonderful thing we shared and something I hope we shall do for many others in the future. Going to rest now and build up my strength for Chemo tomorrow. Wishing each of you a wonderful weekend, may you be lifted and at peace knowing what you did really mattered. Blessings, xo” – June 26, 2014, Nicola Jones
“All my life I have wanted to be a healer and to bring the light. I wanted to lift people up and be a force that drew us closer together. And so I have. Who knew in order to be a healer, I had to be sick? Yay me! I get to witness humanity at it’s finest, I get to be on the receiving end of prayer. Through my scary plot twist, we all become more courageous and more in love with each other. Yay you!! For following through, walking your talk- reaching out and being your best self. I love you even more now. I feel I have witnessed the very essence of you- and YOU are breathtaking – Nicola Jones “
What I loved most about my friend was her incredible love and devotion to her son Christian. He was her everything and she loved him more than anything, I hope he has memories of the eternal love that his mother gave him. She did not fear death, only of leaving those close to her because she knew they would be changed forever. Read Nicola’s “Nightmare Dream Come true”
My second favourite beauty of Nicola was her ability to love and bless people despite their flaws. Nic was a healer and truly changed my life. She made me look at things differently. It was her daily ritual to “bless people” everywhere. She reminded me to “meditate” which I admit I never did before our friendship. Nic was my “Meditation Boot Camp Trainer” and we agreed that we were the “Yin and Yang” missing in each others lives.
Nicola and I met when she gave me a personal call and asked to feature me on her CHCH Take it Outside series. At first I was star struck because hey this was “Nicola Jones, the beauty on CHCH”. That quickly passed when we instantly connected. After the edition she told me “it was the biggest turn out I’ve ever had and I love your energy!” We laughed that Nic “borrowed a baby” for the shoot. I am so thankful for that meeting because our incredible friendship was formed.
After our episode people said “you two are twins, how long have you known each other? All I can say is old souls are always brought together in power. Nic, I miss you.
I joked at her funeral that “our friendship began by Nicola stalking me”. When she first called she told me “I have been following everything you do at Fit4Females, I know all about you”! I remember the conversation like it was yesterday, she told me she was so inspired by me and that I had special things to offer. “Your energy is addicting and cosmetic,” she said.
Nic and I had plans to change and inspire our community, we spoke so much about partnering together as the perfect match to help people. I will honour her life and teachings as much as I possibly can.
Today marks the year anniversary and I have yet to delete every text message from her on my phone. There is too much inspiration, humour and love in our messages. I go back and read them often and wonder if she would tell me to erase them and move on. She was battling for her life but that didn’t stop her from messaging me daily when I was recovering from Hip surgery. #selflessbeauty
These are words that I live by. A big part of my healing is credit to her and the words she spoke to me while I was healing. Not only did we talk daily but I listened to her Meditation for Life every single day while I healed from my Hip Surgery.
“OKAY…it has been a while because I am in the trenches and offline trying to kick this thing. For those of you facing a similar battle: pause… lets take a deep breath together. It sucks. I know. It is so painful and unrelenting somedays but we can get through it. Cry, scream, laugh- whatever …but hold on to my hand and we will stare this thing down with all we have. We are bigger than our problems, more persistent than our suffering and together we will prop each other up moment by moment. I believe in you- life is full of renewal…see yourself well every day, hold on to that.” July 8, 2014, Nicola Jones
It was only 8 weeks ago when her photo disappeared from my Facebook circle, it was there EVERY DAY despite her not being there. Just another way for her to connect with me. “Pay attention Trina”.
I am so grateful for the video footage that I have with my friend. One of my favourite “on air moments” with Nicola was this one here “Take It Outside“!
Here are some of my fondest “Nicola Tips” and words that she always said and taught me:
“Live right now with no regrets, don’t wait to do anything”
“Don’t do for your children what they can do for themselves, be the observer”
“Bless people every day, even when they are mean because they need love and can feel your energy”
Every time I am stressed or overwhelmed or I hear gossip I say “Oh dear”, just like Nicola did. I don’t even notice I’m doing it and I smile when I catch myself
“Laugh ridiculously and out loud”
“Delegate what you can and do what you are meant to do. Make it happen no matter what”
“Create your vision, see it clearly and put it on your vision board” – You CANNOT imagine the power of this, I am living proof of what she taught me
“Get outside daily, nature is healing and life changing, this is my challenge for you today”. “Learn to live free and play like a child would” – NJ
My only regret is that I wish I had more time with her. She taught me so much in our friendship and I feel like a big part of her is living inside of me, guiding me through daily family and business issues. I feel like I need more hugs, laughs and smiles from her but her presence is the strongest I have felt, along side my father’s.
This was our last shameless selfie!
I remember what she said the day I told her I got braces “that’s awesome buddy! That just makes you confident and totally different than every body else, normal is boring anyway!”
She was diagnosed and I struggled because I was having Hip surgery at the same time. I felt guilty because I knew I would recover, I felt guilty because I couldn’t drive or walk well for a big portion of the time that she was sick. I felt angry that this terrible thing was happening to her and that I couldn’t be there as much as I wanted to. I was angry that she protected me from the pain of what she was about to experience.
Eventually I had to let those feelings go because Nicola would constantly remind me “You are my Vitamin Trina and I need you”. What a compliment, I’m crying just writing that. She told me she needed my strength and all of my healing energy of positivity and not ever “feeling sorry for her”. That is exactly what I did and continue to do in her honour. Blessing all of the lives that deeply feel her loss, especially Christian, her beautiful mother and sister, close friends and family. Oh Nic!
This was the day she decided she was going to run me. I was in a wheelchair and she felt awful and she said “we are both gimpies and we’ve got this“. I was yelling at her to stop running and she was saying “shut up Trina, I’m running you“. This is one of my favourite photos.
If you pay close attention, you can feel her energy. You can call on her when you need her because she is there for everyone whether you knew her or not. We can’t see her but she is healing us all.
The last time we were together she was in excruciating pain. Our visit was quite personal but I would like to share this. What she wished the most was that she could be outside picking apples, walking through the fall leaves and riding a bike with her son Christian.
I ask you to go and walk outside, stop and view nature’s beauty, pick apples, be grateful and live now. Think of Nicola. Stop waiting for crisis to happen because Nicola would want you to live and celebrate your amazing self.
I leave you with Nicola’s beautiful entry on her Prescription 4 Peace blog. These words are really sticking with me today and even though I want to cancel everything and just cry all day, I won’t. I will recognize my beautiful friend with a positive balloon release in her honour. To all those suffering, let Nicola wrap you in her light today xo to the closest loves – Amy, Annette, Christian, Cindy, Jaclyn, Melissa and Rania
STOP LOOK LISTEN – Nicola Jones
“Are you up to your earrings in B.S.? Feeling a little shaky on the heels and ready to reach for a scrunchie and some grubby sweats and hide?
Don’t do it.
Don’t you dare collapse into a tangled heap of lipstick and Lycra to drown yourself in bad TV Movies. You are made of better stuff than this… and this feeling…the feeling that you are about to “breakdown”, has arrived to tell you something important. This feeling is directly tied to your reason for being here at all. Don’t let TRAGEDY derail your drive to make positive change. We need you to be a lantern in this world now more than ever.
You will not hear your calling if you are numbing out with distraction…however tempting that is. You must MUST sit still and observe your feelings. What are they telling you? What must change in order for you to feel Hopeful? Inspired and: GOOD ENOUGH?
Pain, fear, anger are messengers. Signals of change. Change you must not accept but actually initiate yourself.
You know the feeling when you are coming down with something like a flu? Achy, tired somewhat muddled and confused… Your soul shows similar symptoms when it is under siege.
This means it is time to STOP.
It is time to assess and determine the right treatment for healing and growth.
Don’t waste another year feeling angry at the way things are, spiritually bankrupt and physically frazzled. Make 2013 your year, the year of the BIGGER VERSION OF YOU.
Stand up and shine on” – Nicola Jones
“I have been told by the team of Doctors here that only option is a high risk surgery, my tumour is the second largest they have performed this surgery on. I have decided to do it. I will die if I don’t so — I am going to fight. I truly feel so loved and if this is my fate then I will go down fighting. Your prayers have lifted me to a stronger place of faith and trust and I am ready either way for what is to come. It may be a while til I check in now- but I want you to know YOUR love was my miracle.” October 16, 2014, Nicola Jones
“Go and be the Light and Love”, Nicola Jones
My beautiful friend Jaclyn Colville (Jac!) made an incredible video blog on Nicola. Please head over to her site to read her memories of Nicola. Get out the Kleenex! Thank you Jaclyn, these are the memories that she would want us to share.
Please join me on November 9 from 6:30-9pm. Our beautiful friend Amy of Moksha Yoga Hamilton is hosting a fundraiser in Nicola’s honour. I love Amy and everything about her business and she was a close friend of both Nic and I. Please buy a ticket and join me.
Please honour my friend by living fully today and by getting outside to appreciate nature and all it has to offer. I will continue to be the “Vitamin” that Nicola always said I was.
Trina Medves xo